I recently read an article by Lilly Nichols entitled, “My Pregnant Body is None of Your Business’. It’s an awesome article and I highly recommend reading it (also pretty much anything else on her blog!)
Anyways this brilliant post gave me an idea…
My Birth Plan is None of Your Business
Yup, you read that right. Let me just lay out a conversation I hear a lot…
“My (insert well meaning relative/friend/random stranger here) will not stop telling me horror stories of home births!”
“All (insert person again) ever talks about is what if I need an emergency c-section!”
“(Yes one more time) keep telling me to just go tour the hospital because they are not that bad.”
Often times these comments and a thousand other variations of them are well meaning and given by people who generally love you and are concerned for you. This is a great time to talk to them about the risks of birth in and out of hospital. You can share with them what research you have done and the questions you have asked your midwives that have led you to your birth choices.
After these conversations have been had. You have listened to their side and explained your view point. There comes a time when it has to stop. When repeated talk against your chosen birth location becomes draining and stressful. This is the time that you may need to politely and respectfully say “My birth plan is none of your business”.
Of course I am not saying you should be rude to your mother-in-law or insult your aunt. But there are ways to respectfully tell them you have heard their concerns but your decision has been made and you don’t want to talk about it anymore. This is kind of along the lines of the saying, “Keep your negative birth stories to yourself my baby is listening”.
So what do you think? Have you ever had a conversation like this with a friend or family member? How did it go? Do you need to have a conversation like this with someone?